Day 5- Make Peace with Imperfection

Today's Lentspiration comes from DSTSS. I love this book so much because usually each chapter is around 2-3 pages and I can sneak in a whole Lentspiration before the kids interrupt me. This morning, I was able to get myself, a five year old, and an 8 month old ready to go and still get a moment to read.

In Chapter 2, I learned that the need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with each other. Preach. *raises hand* I often lose myself to examining the imperfections in my life and being overly focussed on what is wrong instead of what is right. Carlson says we need to catch ourselves before our minds start to meander down the path of negativity. Remind yourself that life is okay and to see perfection in life the way it is.

This is such a hard lesson for me. I often sit at my desk and reflect back on decisions I have made in life and how things might have turned out "If I had only..." The hardest one for me to swallow is a Disney College Program acceptance I turned down because my boyfriend didn't get in. I might be an Imagineer instead of a glorified secretary. But see, there I go! I try to stop my mind from doing that and to look at what I do have, but it is really hard.

When I was growing up, one of my favorite movies was Mr. Destiny . In it, James Belushi's character finds out what would have happened if he had made a home run as a teenager instead of striking out like he did in reality. I remember watching Belushi yearn for his wife- who isn't his wife anymore in the alternate reality. His kids are no longer his because they were never made (right!) and he finds out that what he really had in life was all that he ever wanted, and that the home run would have given him riches and a job with stature, but he hated his life without the people he loved in it.

It is funny how things we love as a child reflect on our inner feelings and sentiments that we don't realize as an adult. I haven't thought about Mr. Destiny in years, but now I have, and I plan on remembering that lesson.

There are many things I wanted to be growing up at various times: a lawyer, an astronaut, a teacher, a doctor, a Disney Cast Member. But consistently, I always wanted to be a wife and a mother - and I am. I achieved my big dreams. My life is only imperfect if I make it that way.

-God, May I always be thankful for what I have today. I should always remember that the plans you have for me can be greater than the ones I have for myself. I pray that I learn to accept decisions I have made in the past because they have led me to the loving people I have in my present. Amen.